


A Way with Words

by hotelcortez



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Bilingual worries, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Insecurities, M/M, anxiousness, seunglix, tired boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 19:15:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotelcortez/pseuds/hotelcortez
Summary: When Felix starts experiencing re-surfacing worries about his Korean and Seungmin fears that he may never master the English language, the two agree to help each other study. They focus not only on improving in their respective languages, but also on patching up the horrible insecurities that have come with it.The romance that blossoms along the way is just an added bonus.





	A Way with Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiiiiiiiiiiya welcome to my new story xx
> 
> So I absolutely adore Seunglix and I think they are very underrated so I decided to write them a fic
> 
> Warnings: Insecurities in learning a new language, exhaustion, nerves and a character has a nightmare. There's nothing graphic but please stay safe xx
> 
> Enjoy! <3

It was safe to say; Stray Kids were no strangers to exhaustion. It was nearing 4am and Felix was still up and awake, leant over a Korean grammar book as he exhaustedly tried to stutter out the increasingly blurred words on the pages below him. The other members were all asleep but he refused to let himself join them, too intent on keeping his focus and committing himself to his studies. 

He had set up at the kitchen table; numerous books and papers spread out on the surface with a chilled, half-full mug of coffee resting a small distance away. It was his 4th coffee of the night and he resented how it seemed to be gradually becoming worse and worse at keeping him awake. His body was screaming at him to sleep, forcefully fighting the effects of the caffeine through shaking hands and drooping eyelids. But Felix couldn’t sleep. He wouldn’t let himself. They were approaching their upcoming I Am YOU comeback and his Korean was lacking. His tiredness was no excuse; he had to keep learning. 

The truth was he’d been a lot more tired recently. Their schedules were getting more and more packed and practices were becoming more and more intense. The fast-paced environment worried Felix as it meant the company had officially stopped his Korean lessons and he had much less time for independent study. At first, he’d been relieved; he now had a lot more time to improve his singing and work further on his rapping and dancing. But then he’d started to become antsy without the security of them, without the reassurance from his teacher that he sounded like a native speaker and consequently the self-doubt he suffered about his Korean had tripled, especially when he was tired and mistakes started to appear. 

He knew that he shouldn’t be insecure about his Korean; he’d been speaking it and hearing it long enough to know he spoke it well. But it was what had almost got him cut out of Stray Kids forever, what had almost cost him his dreams, what had almost gotten him permanently separated from eight of the people he loved most in the world, so he couldn’t help but feel it was his weakness. The fact that something so small had almost destroyed everything for him meant he couldn’t help but worry about it. Every time he made a mistake, every time he stumbled on his words, every time he forgot a translation he heard JYP in the back of his mind telling him he wasn’t good enough, telling him he had let the team down, telling him he was cut for good. He worked hard to push these feelings down, but the packed schedule had made this increasingly more difficult; exhaustion, homesickness and nerves were all triggers that caused him to revert back to English and he had started to notice it happening more and more recently.

Originally, he tried not to let this show, but it seemed his brain was failing him and exposing him through poor attempts at Korean. He had a tendency to fall into direct translations when he was tired, his brain unable to form the correct Korean grammar and so replacing it with the English grammar that was a lot more natural to him. He couldn’t help it; he was just so tired that his brain couldn’t keep up with the words and his mouth couldn’t fully form them. The language was consistently becoming more and more natural to him, but it was still nowhere near as easy to speak as his native language and the concentration that was required to speak it was hard to supply when he could barely keep his eyes open.

The members and management had started to notice his re-emerging discomfort with the language and were always apologetic when pointing out his mistakes, but that didn’t make it easier to deal with. So, Felix promised himself he would get better, promised them he wouldn’t let them down anymore. 

Which is why when the clock struck 4am, he was still hunched over in his chair, coffee mug now empty and books still open on the relevant pages. That would all have been well and good, if it wasn’t for the way his head was dropping and his eyes were closing and the pen was going slack in his hands, the world around him slowly fading into a dark blur. 

He dreamt of unfamiliar words on crumpled pages. The paper scrunching itself up and shaping into sharp edges that cut into his skin as he ran, desperately trying to dodge the language that seemed so intent on hurting him. Ghostly shrieks reached his ears as he fought, the paper crushing him now, forcing him into the ground as he struggled to get away, strangled cries to leave him alone forcing their way out his throat.

“No one can understand you.”

“Felix!”

“You can’t communicate anymore.”

“Felix, wake up!”

“Your members won’t ever speak to you again.”

“FELIX!”

The shout pulled him out of his nightmare and his eyes flew open with a gasp, the dark world in his dream slowly fading into a clearer one. The first thing his sight fell upon was a Korean word on the page he had fallen asleep on and he bolted up in his chair, fear sizzling through him as the words he’d heard in his sleep scrambled themselves over and over in his brain. 

“Felix, are you okay?” 

He jumped as the voice spoke up to the right of him, sounding exactly like the one that had drawn him out of his dream. He turned and locked eyes with Seungmin, the younger looking at him with a mixture of fear and concern, breaths almost as fast and heavy as Felix’s.

“Wh-what?” he was able to stutter out, watching the shock that registered on Seungmin’s face when Felix’s voice came out weak and broken. 

“I-I found you asleep on the table,” Seungmin started to explain, voice shaky, “I came to wake you up and I noticed you were shaking and breathing funny and you didn’t wake up the first few times I tried.”

Felix listened to the explanation with a heavy heart, hating how he seemed to have upset his friend and already created stress for him so early in the morning. He tried to take a deep breath to help calm the situation, but it only made his eyes focus more and he found himself staring intently at the twisted words in the books in front of him. In the back of his mind he knew that he understood what the words meant and he knew that he could easily translate them but his brain was preventing him from doing so, screaming about how incapable he was, how he would never master the language, how he had to keep second-guessing himself or he would never get it right.

Emotions stormed within him as lunged forward and slammed the book closed, all energy leaving him in a rush when Seungmin jumped harshly beside him. 

“Felix…” Seungmin said sympathetically, the younger staring at Felix with confused and worried eyes, face dropping further when Felix cut him off.

“It’s nothing, Seungmin,” the Australian said harshly, quickly gathering up all the books in his hands and standing up, “I was just studying late, that’s all.”

Seungmin could only watch as he promptly strode out the room, posture slumped and defeated, the words he had spoken clearly a lie. 

 

. . .

 

It was a week later… and Seungmin was struggling. 

There were English grammar books all over the studio floor, some open, some not. Seungmin was staring at all of them, trying to get his brain to function enough to work out which ones he needed and which ones he didn’t. This should have been a simple task, but doubt was circling his mind and the letters kept twisting on the paper and he jolted his hand back every time his fingertips brushed over a page, too afraid of making yet another mistake. 

The combination of school, a comeback and ASC was never destined to be a good one, and Seungmin was now neck-deep in all its nasty effects. Exhaustion weighed on his bones, low confidence crippled his mind and fear coursed permanently through his veins, fear that something soon was going to go very wrong. 

He didn’t know what it was that would go wrong, but there were so many possibilities that he knew it had to be something. He had really important tests coming up, he was probably going to fail one and have to re-do a school year and he wouldn’t be allowed in Stray Kids until he got his grades up. Their comeback was just around the corner and he was probably going to forget the new choreography and embarrass the entire group at one of the award shows they were going to attend. And, most scary of them all, he had a load of scheduled ASC episodes to film. This meant he was going to have to speak in English and he was yet to tell anyone that the idea of continuing to attempt that was absolutely terrifying. 

It was around 5am and the group were scheduled for a 7am dance practice in the studio, but Seungmin knew this wasn’t going to be enough. He needed more time to work on things, he needed more time to make sure he was good enough. So he got up early, collected his books and made his way to the studio alone, determined to spend the morning studying and improving what he considered to be his terrible English skills. 

He used to think he was pretty good at English, one of the most advanced non-native speakers in the group, actually. But the more he spoke it, the less confident he became. He heard how fluently it rolled off the tongues of Chan and Felix, he noticed how easy it was for all the other ASC MCs to understand every word without having to translate everything in their heads first and he was hit with the sudden realisation that maybe he wasn’t as good as he thought. Maybe he was actually really, really bad at English and no one ever told him because they didn’t want to hurt him. 

So, he found his old English grammar books from where he’d stored them and began to make use of them again, his self-esteem sinking lower and lower the longer he tried to commit it all to memory. It was so much to remember in such a short amount of time and the idea of even attempting to speak some of it as an MC on TV was really starting to worry him. But he couldn’t let this show, he couldn’t let people see how incompetent he was. So he studied in secret, hiding his fatigue and tears of frustration as everyone went on with their daily lives around him, unaware of the war waging on in his head. 

“Seungmin?”

The hesitant voice drew him out of his thoughts and he snapped his head up to see Felix standing tentatively in the doorway, staring at Seungmin with wide, confused eyes. 

“Oh… hello, Felix,” Seungmin said with a forced smile, frantically trying to come up with a reason why he was hunched over in a cross-legged position surrounded by books in a dance studio too early in the morning, “What are you doing here?”

“We’re practicing soon, Seungminnie,” Felix explained carefully as he entered the room, Seungmin cursing internally when he looked at his phone and noticed the time; he’d managed to waste almost two hours feeling sorry for himself.

“The others are coming, but they’re a bit behind,” Felix continued to explain, still eyeing Seungmin with part suspicion, part worry, “Hyunjin dropped a glass and Jisung can’t find his dance bag, so they sent me ahead to get the music set up whilst they cleaned up and searched.”

“Oh, well that sounds like them,” Seungmin said with a fake laugh, hoping it would be enough to convince Felix that there was nothing wrong with him.

But of course, it wasn’t.

“Seungmin… are these English books?” Felix asked, an unidentifiable emotion lacing his tone as he slowly crouched near Seungmin, running his fingers over the cover of one of the textbooks. 

“Yeah, I… I just wanted to get some extra practice in before I start filming for ASC again,” Seungmin said with fake cheerfulness. Technically speaking he wasn’t lying… he just hadn’t specified how much ‘extra practice’ he put in. 

“But why do you have so many books? And why so early in the morning?” Felix asked, tone serious, “Seungmin, you know your English is amazing. Surely, all of this isn’t necessary.”

“Well… it pays to be prepared I guess,” Seungmin stuttered, face pulled up in a pretend smile, “Speaking of being prepared, we should really get that music set up.”

And when Seungmin shot up off the floor and almost sprinted over to speaker, his body wracked with harsh, fearful breaths, Felix knew something was wrong.

 

. . .

 

The topic was never brought up again for either of the boys, both too wrapped up in their own relentless studying to notice the other.

Sure, there were signs, like the time Felix couldn’t stop yawning after pulling an all-nighter to pour over his Korean books, or the time Seungmin’s hands consistently shook after he forgot to eat anything on a free day that he had dedicated entirely to studying English. They noticed these things in each other and had of course offered help, but ultimately blamed the actions on the stress of a new comeback, too afraid to consider that what was happening to them may also be happening to the other boy. 

It wasn’t for a while later that they were forced to acknowledge it. It was a random Sunday evening and they were both physically and mentally exhausted from a day of recording, choreographing, meetings and practices. Most of the members were in bed and those that weren’t were either showering or relaxing, too tired to even consider doing anything else. 

Seungmin was one of the exceptions; he was reluctantly dragging himself over to the bookcase to retrieve his English books, knowing he had a good few hours to put some serious work in before he would definitely pass out. He was so wrapped up in his tiredness, in fact, that he didn’t notice someone was stood next to him until he reached out for his book at exactly the same time the other person reached out for theirs and they bumped hands as they both tried to get opposing sides of the bookcase. 

Seungmin jumped and swivelled round, catching the surprised gaze of Felix who clearly hadn’t noticed him either. 

“S-sorry,” the young Australian stuttered out, “Didn’t see you there.”

“No that’s okay,” Seungmin reassured, “I didn’t see you either.”

“Guess we’re both on a roll tonight,” Felix said with a tired smile as he reached up again and pulled out the three books he had come looking for, Seungmin’s eyes widening when he noticed they were all Korean grammar books.

“You’re studying Korean?” he asked, brain suddenly reminding him of when he had caught Felix having a nightmare on top of a Korean book a few nights before. At the time it hadn’t occurred to him that it was weird that Felix was studying Korean as he had been too concerned about the distressing dream the Australian appeared to be having and why he was asleep at the table in the first place. It never occurred to Seungmin that Felix could be experiencing the same language difficulties that he was.

“Yeah,” Felix answered quietly, shuffling his feet a little as he held the books to his chest, “Just a little before bed.”

“Just a little? Like that time I found you asleep at the kitchen table at ridiculous- o’clock in the morning?” Seungmin said a little too forcefully, feeling guilt run through him when Felix flinched slightly.

“What about that time I found you in the studio?” Felix responded, gaze locked firmly with the floor, voice so quiet Seungmin almost missed it. The young Korean found himself unable to answer and so turned back to the bookshelf and carefully pulled out the English books he had originally come looking for.

“I guess… I guess I just want to get a little practice in too,” he responded hesitantly, instantly catching the understanding eyes of Felix who was looking at him again.

“Well then… let’s study together,” the young Australian suggested.

“S-Study together?” Seungmin asked, surprised. He had simply expected Felix to turn around and leave him alone again, just like they had both done the mornings they had ended up finding each other. He thought they had now somehow formed a mutual understanding that they knew what the other was going through and it was best to just leave it to keep it hidden from everything else. 

“Well, I’d really rather you didn’t study at all, but I know if you’re feeling anything like me then you’re not going to listen to that… so we may as well keep each other company.” Felix explained, “I can’t help but think it’d be best if I suffered in silence, and you probably think the same, but who knows, maybe we’ll get more done if we work together? At least that way we may get to bed a little sooner.”

Seungmin processed the words for a couple of seconds, ignoring the way his chest fluttered at the idea of Felix wanting to work with him and how his heart broke slightly at the horrible insecurities that laced his friend’s words. Deep down, Seungmin knew he had the same insecurities buried far in his own mind, so maybe, just maybe, Felix was right. Maybe they could work together to fix this.

“Okay,” Seungmin nodded, “Sounds good.”

A bright smile graced Felix’s face and Seungmin instantly felt warmth blooming in his chest, temporarily able to ignore the dark under-eye circles and worry lines that adorned Felix’s skin in favour of focusing on the way his lips curled beautifully when he smiled and how adorable his freckles looked with his cheeks pulled up. 

“Perfect!” Felix responded, trying and failing to hide his excitement at working with the boy who had such a beautiful look on his face when he was concentrating, feline eyes staring intensely at his work and features pulled into ethereal gaze that Felix had a hard time not looking at, not that he’d ever admit that.

“Let’s go.”

The two boys made their way into the kitchen and settled themselves opposite each other at the table, Seungmin spreading out the books whilst Felix ran to grab some pens. Within minutes, they were both working and Seungmin was surprised by how comforted he felt at the way Felix hummed whilst he worked, and Felix was caught off guard by how much more relaxed he was at having someone else with him at the table. 

They asked each other questions now and again, but apart from that the only sounds that could be heard were pens scratching on paper and pages turning. The occasional smile or wave shared between the pair to reassure each other that they weren’t alone.

The atmosphere remained calm and relaxed and their work remained productive until two hours later when Felix stopped to let out a huge yawn and Seungmin’s head snapped up in his direction, instantly noticing the exhaustion lining the Australian’s posture.

“You should sleep,” Seungmin suggested, work forgotten as he watched Felix rub his eyes for a couple of seconds before shaking his head. 

“I’m not leaving you here all night,” he responded, voice slightly weak but still tinged with conviction that Seungmin knew meant he would not be backing down anytime soon, no matter how tired he was. A thought entered Seungmin’s head, one that he tried to squash down at first but couldn’t ignore no matter how hard he tried. He knew it would be detrimental to his own studies, but he also knew that Felix needed to sleep, and deep down… deep, deep down… Seungmin knew he needed to get some sleep too. 

“Okay, listen.” Seungmin said, Felix instantly stopping his writing to look at Seungmin, caught off guard by the firm tone.

“I know you don’t want to stop studying,” Seungmin started, “And honestly, I don’t want to either. But, as much as I hate to admit it, we both need to get some sleep. So, how about we make a deal?”

“A deal?” Felix asked, sounding nervous. 

“I’ll set an alarm to go off in twenty minutes. That is how long we have to wrap up all of our studies. Once that alarm goes off you have to grab all of my books and hide them in your room and I have to grab all of yours and hide them in my room and then we both have to make sure the other gets to bed.”

“I don’t know…” Felix responded uncertainly, all of his doubts and fears suddenly out on full display as he stared down at his notes. In that moment, Seungmin could see everything that plagued the young Australian; he could see the exhaustion, the low confidence and the terror that he seemed intent on hiding. He could see every insecurity that came with the mistakes Felix made when he first came to Korea, the understandable mistakes that he still sometimes made today, the perfectly fine sentences that Felix still somehow thought of to be mistakes. Seungmin didn’t need to be a psychic to know that Felix was about to go on to make a self-deprecating comment about how he thought he wasn’t good enough at the language and how that meant he had to torture himself further by keeping himself up late when he was already sleep-deprived.

Maybe Seungmin was a psychic, because he was spot on. 

“I really need more time to get better at thi-“

“Felix, I know you’re not going to believe me, but your Korean is honestly amazing,” Seungmin cut in, staring Felix dead in the eye, grabbing onto and squeezing his hand when he tried to look away, “You’ve only been here a year and a half and yet you’re already fluent. I can’t say that I relate to living in a country in which I can’t communicate with anyone, because that’s never happened to me, but I do know that it can’t be easy… not at all. The fact that that was your situation and you were able to put in the work to turn it all around and get to the advanced stage you’re at now is honestly incredible. You’ve been through a lot trying to learn this language, more so than the average person would, considering how quickly they were making you learn it and how you had to go through training alongside it and everything that JYP said to you on that survival show...”

Felix flinched at those words and Seungmin only squeezed his hand tighter, staring at his friend with complete adoration and earnest, using his eyes to practically beg him to please believe the important message he was trying to give to him.

“You have come so far in your Korean and you don’t need a book to tell you how to speak it anymore, you’ve got all the knowledge you need in the big brain of yours,” Seungmin paused when Felix shook his head, chest hurting a little at the action, but he didn’t let it stop him “I know you probably don’t believe me, but at least believe me when I say that you’ve done enough for tonight. You’re allowed to let yourself rest, Felix.”

“Seungminnie…” Felix voiced the nickname quietly but laced it completely with longing and affection and Seungmin had to stop himself from melting at the sound of it. They paused for a couple of seconds as Felix seemed to be searching for the words he wanted to say, but not because of the language in which he had to say them, because of how in awe he was at how eloquently Seungmin had just complimented him. His eyes remained downcast, fingers lightly brushing over Seungmin’s palm as his lips formed what the words that came tumbling from his mouth.

“Y’know, when I first came to Korea it was always you that I looked up to you whilst I was trying to learn the language.” Felix said, smiling slightly and meeting eyes with Seungmin when the younger gasped in surprise, “Seungmin, you’ve always spoken so eloquently. You always make sure to properly pronounce your words and take care to fully explain everything that you want to say, and you do it so gracefully that even when I couldn’t understand a lot of what you said, I still found myself hanging onto your every word. And you never back down either; you stand by your words and always make sure that you mean what you say, which is a very admirable trait to have. It was when I was learning Korean that I realised I one day wanted to be good enough to be able to speak it as well as you do.”

“Felix…” Seungmin tried to say, but Felix leaned forward and squeezed his hand, a signal that he wasn’t finished yet. 

“And then the company started giving you all English lessons…” Felix said, “It was nothing compared to my Korean lessons, just enough for you all to understand the basics for when our fanbase started getting a little more international. But that wasn’t enough for you, you were determined to get better at English and so you committed yourself to learning it. And you did so well and learnt so fast that within months you became an MC on a partly English-speaking show. Do you know how amazing that is, Seungmin? Do you know how big of an achievement that is? I was and still am completely in awe of you, and I was absolutely ecstatic when I realised you spoke English just as eloquently as you did Korean. So, this sudden obsession you have about getting better, you don’t need it, okay? You’re doing so well already.”

A comfortable silence blanketed the pair as they remained staring at each other from either side of the table, simply enjoying the beautiful moment they were able to share together. A gentle warmth coated them as they basked in the words they had showered each other with, not yet secure enough to completely believe them but still absolutely enamoured by the idea that they had someone on their side, someone who related to the worries they had, someone who was willing to chase them all away. 

“So…” Seungmin said after a few moments, a delicate smile playing lightly on his features, “Twenty minutes?”

Felix grinned in response, “Twenty minutes.”

So the pair went back to their notes, minds immediately zoning into their work and dragging them into concentration. But this time there were no tense postures, no tired sighs, no erratic heartbeats and no silent feelings of anguish. Instead there was mere comfort and relaxation as the two young boys allowed themselves to enjoy learning the language now that they had someone to assure them that even if they did mistakes, it didn’t make them any less worth it.

Felix had just finished his paragraph when the shrill noise of the alarm filtered through the air and Seungmin bolted up in mild panic. 

“No!” he whined, throwing himself forward so that his chest and arms crushed all his work, “Don’t take it away! I only need two minutes! Two more minutes, please!”

“Sorry Seungmin,” Felix smirkeed, a hint of playfulness sparkling in his eyes, “A deal’s a deal.”

“Nooooooo please!” Seungmin pouted as he pushed his weight further onto the table, briefly floating for a second before landing directly onto the wood with a thump when Felix snatched a particularly thick book from under him, “I need that!”

“Well, you can have it back at our next study session,” Felix remarked, continuing to pack up Seungmin’s things, unaware of how his comment had snapped Seungmin out of his whining.

“S-study session?” he stuttered, ashamed of how excited he felt at the prospect of studying with Felix again.

“Well, would you rather study alone?” Felix asked.

“No!” Seungmin answered too quickly and Felix quirked a brow, smirking slightly as Seungmin frantically covered his face, “No… I mean… I just… today was….”

He was cut off by small fingers carefully working their way into his own and tugging them away from his face so he had no choice but to look back into the playful, and slightly endeared, eyes of Felix.

“Don’t cover your face,” he said sweetly, “You’re cute when you blush.”

Even Felix seemed surprised at the compliment he had just given and within seconds he was just as red as Seungmin was, quickly dropping his hand and straightening up, awkwardly clearing his throat as he watched Seungmin blink multiple times in shock. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“No, you didn’t!” Seungmin quickly reassured as he stood out of his seat, “I’ll just… um… I’ll just grab your stuff and then we can head upstairs together, okay?”

Felix met Seungmin’s eyes with a smile, “Okay,” he replied. 

The pair chatted quietly as they made their way up the stairs together, books held tightly to their chests. It didn’t take them long to get to the top and they edged closer to each other as they made their way down the dark hallway, ready to catch one another should one of them trip over a discarded item or clothing or something else that the members commonly left lying around the dorm.

They reached the door to Seungmin’s room first and the young Korean turned to Felix with a kind facial expression.

“Goodnight,” he whispered, “Make sure you go to sleep straight away, okay?”

“You too, Seungminnie,” Felix replied softly, turning and shuffling his way over to his room, “Sleep well.”

Seungmin made his way through the door and promptly shoved Felix’s books under his bed before getting changed quickly and quietly, not wanting to wake up either of his roommates. He slipped contently under his covers and immediately relaxed into the sheets, unware that only a couple of rooms down Felix was placing Seungmin’s books at the top of his wardrobe and doing the same, almost falling off the ladder to his bunk bed before settling down under the blankets. 

For the first time in ages both teenagers fell asleep in minutes, no longer plagued by the dark and horrible thoughts that had been haunting them for too long, instead allowing themselves to be comforted and healed by the beautiful and kind words they had been able to share with one another. 

 

. . .

 

The study sessions became frequent after that. Even in the middle of the comeback, the two would meet up at the kitchen table late at night and just let themselves relax in each other’s presence, once again enjoying the fulfilment that came with learning a new language. 

It wasn’t a perfect system, but it was infinitely better than suffering alone. There was one night that Seungmin had been driven to tears by a word that he just absolutely couldn’t pronounce and instead of just sobbing alone whilst he watched the tears stain the page like he would have done before, he found himself in the arms of a certain koala. Fingers ran through his hair and a hand rubbed circles on his back until he calmed down, the gestures bringing him more comfort than he could even comprehend.

When he had finally been able to look up, the tears had been wiped gently from his face and the person draped over his shoulder was replaced by blanket until a hot chocolate was placed in front of him and the person was back.

Seungmin hadn’t ever thanked Felix for that night, but he knew that Felix wasn’t looking to be thanked. He saw it in the way Felix’s eyes softened whenever Seungmin was able to say a new English sentence correctly or the way he bit his lip whenever Seungmin shyly poked him to ask him about something he was unsure of. The new-found confidence and endearment the young Australian had gained from the study sessions was all the thanks he needed, and Seungmin couldn’t help but feel the same. 

Their friendship had bloomed as a result and they found themselves clinging to each other more and more, even when all the other members were present. A few of them had joked about starting a new ship for them since they always seemed to be together now, but Seungmin and Felix just laughed it off, knowing that the members were secretly happy for them as they had finally found what they needed. 

Seungmin had been there to gently squeeze Felix’s shoulder when he had gotten a word wrong at an interview and the MC had sharply commented on it, sending waves of insecurity rolling through the young boy’s body. Felix had been there to hold Seungmin in his arms and shower him with compliments when a new episode of ASC was released and Seungmin was too wracked with nerves to watch it, convinced that his English had been terrible. 

A lot of things had changed for them but the biggest change of all came unexpectantly.

It was a few weeks later and Seungmin and Felix were collecting their things after another successful study session. As per usual, Seungmin held Felix’s books and Felix held Seungmin’s. This wasn’t necessary anymore; the two had been able to heal each other enough that they could now be trusted to go to bed straight away and get a healthy night’s sleep, but they kept the habit for tradition, always enjoying exchanging books before and after they studied.

They chatted contently as they walked upstairs and down the hallway as normal and Seungmin had been about to walk into his room with a quick goodnight when Felix’s nervous facial expression stopped him.

“Felix,” he whispered, causing the boy to quickly look at him. It was dark in the hallway but Seungmin could see well enough to recognise to distinct worry lines on Felix’s face, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s just…” Felix whispered, even quieter than usual and Seungmin had to take a step closer to him to see him. The two were now face-to-face, breaths hot on each other’s skin. If the lights were on Seungmin was sure he would have been able to count Felix’s every freckle. 

“Just what?” he whispered as Felix stared him directly in the eye, the air around them crackling like electricity and something else that Seungmin couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something that felt a lot like… love.

Seungmin barely had time to process this as Felix suddenly closed the distance between them and there were a pair of lips on his own. Shock flew through his veins as Seungmin realised the situation and promptly tightened his grip on the books in his hands to make sure he didn’t drop them, before closing his eyes and doing the only thing he could think to do; kissing back. 

Felix’s lips were soft against his and he was encased by warmth that started in his chest and bloomed through his whole body as they continued to kiss, the feeling so euphoric that Seungmin had to remind himself that this was all real, that he was finally kissing the person that he had just realised he had been crushing on for weeks. 

It had taken them so long, but the kiss felt so perfect, so right, that they were both certain every second building up to it had been worth it. Every tear, every sleepless night, every self-deprecating thought could be healed by this one kiss and Seungmin found himself praying to every god in existence that this moment could last forever. That Felix’s lips could always be on his own.

But, unfortunately, nothing lasts forever and Seungmin felt Felix pulling away too soon, the young Australian gazing into his eyes with such fondness that Seungmin had to stop himself kissing him all over again. 

“Goodnight, Seungminnie,” Felix whispered, going to turn away before a clammy hand gently grabbed his wrist.

“Sleep in my bed tonight,” Seungmin said and Felix met his gaze once more, noticing the happiness dancing in the young Korean’s eyes. The emotion looked so beautiful on the boy that Felix was nodding before he even had time to process the words, easily allowing himself to be tugged into Seungmin’s room.

All the books were placed under Seungmin’s bed and Felix was handed one of Seungmin’s t-shirts to wear before the two slipped under the covers together. They knew they’d be teased for this in the morning, but they couldn’t bring themselves to care as they contently fell asleep in each other’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope that was okay. It was my first time writing a first kiss so I hope I didn't do too badly?
> 
> I really, really appreciate comments and kudos, and feel free to check out any of my other fics.
> 
> My Twitter: @hotelfelixxie - I follow back and sometimes I post little mini drabbles that are too unedited or short for Ao3 if you'd like to check them out (they're in my threads) xx
> 
> Have a blessed day xx


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